not a german tourist

so i ended up not being so sad that i didn't go to martha's vineyard for the weekend. sunday night basically made it worth it.
many thanks to ritu for signing on to the plan of going to hank's saloon to see cobble hill boy's brother's band play. that was a ton of fun. excellent roof top barbq from the paco ladies. unlike shushi, i am into creatty patties from the ground fake beef, is it more like a burger. i've been giving thoughts lately to eating some more meat-and even to buying it. but that seems like sucha waste and creating a much bigger impact than needed, and it would have to be organic, free range, locally grown. i think if i lived on a farm i would totally eat meat, esp if i could ensure that every part of the animal was being used. so when it got cold we ventured downstairs for some celebrities (also known as my favorite game in the world), a little warm up kareoke in the living room and off to the land of my drinking way too many $2 pbrs. seeing cobble hill boy was fine, good even, was glad that he danced with me, band was fun, told some guy that i had accused of being a german tourist to contact me over missed connections but he had yet to. his friend was incredible drunk and overly annoying and seriously reminding me of someone but i'm not sure who, someone from the WU who became a close talker when drunk, i can sort of picture this guy, but not fully, he becomes a little sheepish about the fact that he's drunk. damn this is going to drive me crazy. in any case i lost my atm card at the bar on sunday. sunday night the place was a packed, dark, hot, dive, biker bar, with a minimmaly clad, but dressed like a bartender from doc holliday's or the village idiot, everyone was drinking pbr, lots of butch lesbians, some people very inot body modification through peircings and tattoos, but we also weren't out of place. when i walked in at 2pm the next day it made me a litle sad. at first i was loving it and it made me think of old time brooklyn and how much of a neighborhood place it is. but then it was just depressing to see the 7 old men up at the bar obviously not on their first whiskey of the day.

i'm also kinda sick of going on dates. i went on one on thursday with some guy i'm totally not interested in; one yesterday with some one who was fine and seemed very nice but wasn't wowed, have one tonight but i think i'd rather go to pilates. i just want a boyfriend already. but don't want to settle, i want to be wowed and feel like i am wowing him.

fleet week

i'm not positive, but i think i saw my first movie in a theater for 2005 last night. mad hot ballroom. it was very cute. a documentary about the 5th grade ballroom dance competition in nyc public schools. didn't get the greatest review, and i agree that they could have done more with the subplot story lines, but it was fun to watch and there were enough kids that came across as characters that you did care about them. and they dance much better than i ever could. amy sewell was behind the project and that name is uber familiar to me but i can't find out why/ a quick google only reveals her work on this movie, its the sewell name that is getting me more than the amy but a quick google jogs no memories.
saw it at the landmark sunshine. incidentally, last year during sat night of fleet week i saw a movie about nyc (sort of, not a documentary, but no script no professional actors) at the sunshine. the big link for me in my brain was chad-who i have continuously on the brain. i know i shouldn't, i'm just lonely and frankly jealous that he's with someone else and keeps running back and forth to cleveland. (he used to run back and forth to see me-pouty face) the other week i had thoughts for the first time that we should get back together but those were loneliness and jealousy inspired not what i really think would be a good idea. although part of me is like a hey for a week or month it would be nice to be comfortable with someone. but so life goes, and i'm sure if he still reads this (which i bet he does) this will take away any thoughts he may have had about giving me a call or swinging through nyc. which is probably best for the both of us in any case.

i've been having some crazy dreams the past couple of nights. they are more akin to other people's crazy dreams than to my previous crazy vivid or steve involving dreams. they have had a tendency to involve romantic engagements with my father and i, which i won't lie makes me feel pretty dirty and not so comfortable when i think about it at other times. seriously gross.

i'm a new york elitist

i was called this by someone on the subway in response to my rolling my eyes at their 35 year old selves talking about how cool rocky horror picture show is. maybe i'm jaded, maybe i'm elitist, maybe my tastes have just changed over the year. when i was 17 i loved rhps, seriously nothing more could have made me happier than to go on a sat night. and if a 17 year old wanted to go in nyc i would support it. i guess i just think there are more things to do in this city that it doesn't seem so necessary to be so enthralled with it now. these guys were also standing practically on top of me while the subway car was not crowded. the guy didn't call me elitist until i was getting off the train. i almost got back on the 6 train to say-yeah i am a new york elitist thank you very much.

5 for 5

got into columbia, which i'm kinda surprised about, but also pleased and sort of incredulous at how they could think i could still be interested since i applied from mexico-that was in janurary-and i just heard now?!? but go me.

what i really hate

is that i can't come up with rational, articulate, calm arguments that i think are intelligent...but that's a whole other issue i have with my ability to speak intelligently

for my mom's sake

i'm glad that i'm not lesbian, bi or trans. simply b/c its not the norm and i don't know how she'd deal with it. i am beginning to think (i've thought it before) that her hatred and shock at my underarm hair is veiled fear that i am acting in a way that will make people think i'm a lesbian. yesterday, when telling her that the lawyer told me he wasn't into me she said hemmed and hawed and said there was something she was afraid to even bring up (this made me afraid, i thought she would be talking about something of substance) but then she said its your armpits, and that while maybe its the norm in europe (meaning its a subjective thing and therefore all about what other people will think) but its not here and i think you should get rid of it.
fucking hell.

it is such a silly thing, that i could shave it and it would come back. but 1) that process is uncomfortable 2) while it seems asinine as a 26 year old to be fighting with my mom over such a small thing and to refuse to do what she wants just to be stubborn-don't i get to have some agency over what i do or how i present myself. i would like to be able to have a mature, non-emotionally heightened conversation about this, but it just makes me so upset that i can't calmly discuss it (never mind the fact that we know i don't take criticism well in general). really this just makes me so angry. part of me wants to come out and ask-are you afraid i'm a lesbian? but then what if she says yes. how fucking awful to think that i wouldn't be accepted for who i was-were i gbltq!?!

there's nothing better than paying to pass out

so i had the first of two doctors appointments today this morning (the 2nd one has since been cancelled due to the following story) i went to the dermatologist that practices out of my doctor's office on teusday's to have a little gross thing removed from my finger (two actually, one on two fingers). i knew that they would freeze it off. so i'm waiting outside in the special waiting area and i see this guy, he's dressed in an outfit i'm not sure matches, with his tie tiucked into his shirt halfway down and a bad haircut. i just get a bad vibe from him. but once i'm inside he seems fine and while he did not do a cancer screen or check my back or anything he addressed my issue no problems. i should mention he had a nurse with him as well. so he freezes off the growth, it hurts like a bitch. the nurse bandages me up, he looks at my arm to answer a question i have and then says i'm free to go. but first he looks at me and asks if i'm alright, i say (and feel) actually i feel pretty woozy. they have me lie down for a moment, bring me some water, ask if i had eaten breakfast (i had) and the nurse goes to get me some of her private chocolate stash. the doc tells me to get something to eat, that i had a vegas(?) reaction and it happens about twice a month, so totally normal. maybe except i've never come close to fainting before. he tells me i can go but then changes his mind when i'm till pale when i sit up. they have to move me bc they have to see the next person, i go out to wait on the bench, where the other patients scatter to get away from me-i must have looked uber pale. then they move me into a privarte room and haveme lay down on the bone densoty scanner and some nice old autralian or south african lady pats my head with cool water and helps me breath. the doc comes back in a couple times and finally says i look better and can go-but to go eat something with sugar. so i go check out, and get some of mickey's yummy trail mix and walk slowly to work. yuck i don't want to do that again.

i've resorted to it again

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/w4m/74900720.html

...15, 16, 17, 18 WHEELS ON A BIG RIG (i love the wers satyrday evening children's hour)

beantown was good. the day of the bride went well. i think she was really pleased and it was nice to see people. however now i am in a super funk and going to allow my self to wallow in some self pity and hopefully wake up energized tomorrow. why may i wallow you may ask 1) i keep getting told your cool, but i'm not into you by guys and its taking its toll-esp b/c things seem to be going swimmingly with my ex and his new girlfriend and i feel very dissociated from him and well lonely and why the fuck aren't people into me, there is no one out there. (i've been really good about not falling into this trap, allow me this one evening); i didn't really get to talk to slip and slide buddy at all, except for dinner friday night which was very nice to chill with the peeps, but not a lot of time; i felt completely unable to be social last night and had no idea what to say to anyone, and had no interest in drinking; my bus took too long today and i cut my trip short for ending up no reason as i missed my chance to usher for boozy-or to see it for cheap; i have not been taking steps to ensure i will fit in my dress.

chill thanks for taking me in for dinner, sorry if i'm a party pooper.

not a beautiful day for a ditch day

went to an auction at sotheby's this morning with dr dr. it was interesting for a few minutes, but b/c a lot fot he stuff was not in great shape, nor in my taste it got old early. glad i went though, would love to go to one of the 'important ones' and the auctioneer is cool, and teh subtly of knowing when people are bidding from all over the room, also cool. not my next job.

date with the laywer was cool. we seem to have a lot of similar interests. i hope he calls.

content of two text mesages between me and clinton hill boy several hours after he told me he wasn't interested romantically over the phone at work:
me: i think we are on the same page. no hard feelings, but no drinks tonight. i have to wash my hair...next time though
him: to wash your hair? i see. as for being on the same pagei am relieved to hear that. have fun with the hair.

off to the mandarin oriental for tea then a bus to bean town.
l8r

for those times when i feel good about myself but bad about my lovelife....

How the hell do you not want me?

request by: Iexist
compiled by: jhox

note from jhox: I included self-promotion from artists of both sexes, so hopefully this will work for everyone.

01. The Human League - "Don't You Want Me?" (Greatest Hits)
02. Right Said Fred - "I'm Too Sexy" (I'm Too Sexy)
03. Cheap Trick - "I Want You To Want Me" (At Budokan)
04. Prince - "Baby I'm A Star" (Purple Rain)
05. Del Amitri - "Roll To Me" (Hatful of Rain)
06. Leonard Cohen - "I'm Your Man" (I'm Your Man)
07. The Pretenders - "Brass In Pocket" (Greatest Hits)
08. The Pixies - "Here Comes Your Man" (Doolittle)
09. The Dave Clark Five - "Say You Want Me" (Coast to Coast)
10. Madonna - "You Must Love Me" (You Must Love Me)
11. The The - "Gravitate To Me" (Mindbomb)
12. Melissa Etheridge - "I'm The Only One" (Yes I Am)
13. Talking Heads - "Blind" (Naked)
14. Lenny Kravitz - "Are You Gonna Go My Way?" (Are You Gonna Go My Way)


many thanks to tiny mix tapes

back in business

cell phone arrived safely. call me people!

and katherine anne-you guessed correctly

adultism

so i'm going on a nerve date with a lawyer tomorrow, this is giving me the serious case of adultism. like, hey how i can i measure up? not that i am saying that a lawyer is a better job or more important than mine, just that it seems much more advanced on the path. its an end point job (i know he's just a jr associate-actually i don;t maybe he's a public interest lawyer, that would be great but friendster didn't say) and while i have friends that are practicing lawyers like the wasp and pamster-who has been admitted to multiple! bars, i don't hang out with them in my everyday life. i know more people in law school than practicing law, and most of them did something else for a year or two, and i guess more of them are starting to finish up, but at least two are going to clerk, which seems different than going to an office and being a lawyer. this is something i need to get over. i am a mature, responsible, approaching decent handle on my finances, adult who has as much to contribute to any conversation as anyone else, often more in some cases. and i've taken a different path, and that is just fine.

in other news, i have an ingrown toenail. yuck.

chill and i had a disagreement last night about paul farmer and the book we read about him-mountains beyond mountains. i don't like disagreeing with my friends, but i don;'t agree with her and mickey about what his role should be in international public health and why he should go against his philosophy and what gives him enjoyment to stop seeing so many patients. it was also an interesting comment on what a leader should do and how they should be trained, and what about leading by example.

just found out about another upcoming engagement, not sure if i can discuss it or not. he's popping the question memorial day and there is no way she reads this, but still since i didn't get the okay you'll just have to be in suspense for a few more weeks (sorry katherine anne)

weekend recaplet

not so much feeling the blogging love today, its almost bc there is too much to say, but i'm sure in my attempt to keep it brief i will ramble on and on but the hightlights are:
-my dress for all the weddings doesn't fucking fit. its a size smaller than i usually wear and when i tried it on for kicks sat night it wouldn't zip quite all the way and looks tight. redeeming point is i put it on after eating a huge plate of bad nachos by myself at docs and not after not eating all day.
-as i was leaving the train station yesterday a young woman of about 19 came up to me and said something, it seemed like she was asking for directions so i asked her to repeat herself and she said, "i just wanted to let you know that jesus christ loves you" and walked away. she didn't appear to approach anyone else. i mumbled thanks and shook my head
-left my cell phone in the car that dropped me off at the airport in pgh, making me a lameass
-not sure that clinton hill boy is going to be around much longer. if he calls me i'd go out with him, but he seems to be turning into another schwartz in my life, and while i'm quite happy having one guy with whom there is awkward sexual tension and have clothing limited platonic sleepovers, i don't think i need 2.
-missed my plane on friday, due to chb acting like schwartz, turned out not to be a big deal, but independance airline is far from my favorite. flying to pgh sucks
-my grandmother is still shrinking, and in her aura as well. its hard to see.

i have a lot to say about the philharmonic, but instead i am being stupid

arg. i just broke a pinky swear. double fucking arg. i want to go hide under a rock, or at least wish i had had more wine earlier. time for bed. more in the morning.

i know the number of posts is getting out of control

but back to the subject of random stuff you read on other people's blogs...the blog of the husband of a blog i read just posted a bunchof top 5 lists a la high fidelity and he rates david byrne as one of his top 5 musical heros. i hate david byrne. now i love and respect the talking heads don't get me wrong, i'm even into franz ferdinand, but loving the whole david byrne air? are you kidding me? most of the time, celebrities personalities take 'em or leave 'em i couldn't care less. this particular one i have serious beef with, and i most certainly do not think that he seems like a nice guy (even if he is responsible for some totally awesome music). sorry just had to get that off my chest. i went to bed at 3:30 or so last night and left the house by8:30. i need a nap.

remember the alamo

the cube is gone. ok. due to my having started to read gothamist and gawker regularly (they are just that useful, esp if you want to be itn) i knew that the cube had been removed for repair, it had been having some spinning problems. but this morning i found myself at astor place walking on the spot on the sidewalk that the cube should take up. i was so confused. you know morning, not much sleep last night, doesn't take much to confuse me. but the east village is my favorite neighborhood in the city (a couple of spots in parks along the hudson along the esplanade in battery park and up in riverside park (moving water, nice view, comfy grass) compete for my favorite places in manhattan) and every time i go i am reminded of how little time i spend there and it makes me kinda wistful for the days where i spent a lot of time there.

!?! dogster.com and of course b/c we wouldn't want to leave them out catser.com jesus, (sorry friends if that offends) the ridiculous things you learn about when reading other people's blogs.

according to friendster i'm not having a good relationship day with most of you. sorry. its not my fault. its like the lottery number in the fortune cookie that won the powerball. its a faulty system, that apparently a lot of people give a shit about.

someone called me with a familiar looking number that i don't know. i think maybe its spidey, and even though i never called him back maybe he wants to take me sailing! guess i should listen to the message.

i stayed in clinton hill last night and walking to the train this morning i ran into someone i know from jfrej. i thought of chad and how he would not be surprised my second time in the 'hood running into someone, kinda like his friendster testimonial for me. also last night, quite late, chb and i chatted- it was good. during the course of the chat he commented that while he likes me, and enjoys spending time with me, blah blah blah part of him is not sure, and basically he's not head over heels for me and doesn't think about me all the time. this pretty much clinched that i will try my best not to contact him until he contacts me (although i do want him to contact me). [convo came up after i announced that i'm fucking awesome and treat people i'm into really well (yes with a notable exception or two) and i deserve to be treated equally as well] slip and slide buddy told me i should have left when he said that, but i didn't feel that way, besides it was 2:30 in the morning, and i'm not head over heels about him either.

a trainer at the gym took pity on me yesterday and made me a new express-line card (now filed under 'z' for easy access) and gave me pointers on how to do the machines. thanks (even if it is your job)

WORK!

my skirt is too short

ok, so its not short at all. its just to the knee instead of below the knee, and i'm not used to this length-making it feel short. but it is my super faboo guatemalan skirt b/c bloustine loves me.

so i registered as a matriculated student at bank street for june yesterday, and got my library orientation out of the way. then b/c i thought i had more time then i ended up having i walked south through riverside park. i have spent very little time in that park and when i have its been in the same few spots, near the joan of arc statue and by the 79th st boat basin. but there are some really pretty areas, and you can just imagine how happy i was to walk next to a big pretty river on a nice day with the sun shining over it. if only it weren't so far from my house, and on 105th is a nice outside post for overpriced (but no more so than anywhere else) beer and burgers.

later went to molly's for drinks with silver. the bar tender i like wasn't there. but this one was being nice with the buy backs, at least for silver and the other customers in the bar. one of the reasons that i like going for drinks with silver is that is always pays. with him i don't feel guilty, and i paid a decent amount last night. i remember when i came to brooklyn for new years eve junior year and we went to the bodega to get beer and snacks before playing various board games, including trivial pursuit where i lost a pie peice b/c i didn't know joel's last name at the time (and the same weekend alison gave me her awesme socks that i still have, with holes in the toes of course), and katie paid for my stuff bc i was still in school and the rest of them were working (of course i probably had more disposable income than them but...), i was impressed that she thought to pay for me though, and i ususally think back to that when silver pays for my drinks-his excuse is that he makes more than i do, and he does, around twice as much.
also at some points we had trouble telling stories, b/c we each knew them having had read them in each other's blog. the definite downfall of having friends read your blog you end up repeating yourself, or i get bored b;c i can't be bothered to repeat myself. but also as is expected with us, silver and i rehashed (in condensced form this time) the story of our relationship. i guess that won't ever end.


oooooooh i have philarmonic tix for tomorrow night and i just checked the program and i am so excited for it! pincas zuckerman will be playing and conducting and a flute solo. how could i not love? just read a little more and i am so fucking pumped!

i could have seriously injured someone--stop fucking with my windows

so my window is broken. i need to put something in it to prop it open. i have been using a lunch box and more recently to prop is open very wide this shelf (9x11" or so) that i am not using. last night i came home and my window was closed, my room felt a little stuffy, so i go to open my window and prop it open with the lunch box. the shelf is also leaning against the wndow. i do not realize until its too late, that for some reason unbeknownst to me my screen has been opened up all the way and the board slips and before i can do anything falls out my 4 story window and onto the sidewalk below. i scream 'fuck' and pray no one is down below. luckily no one seemed to be walking down below and it didn't hit a car. seriously people, whomever you are. stop fucking with my window!

crazy ass dream, possibly paralyzing

last night i had a crazy dream that had multiple parts but largely involved me and my fam. and esp my brother who reappeared after (it seemed like 10 years, but he's been dead for 13 years) after years of supposing to be dead. my life had gone on basically the way it was except in the dream i was at home and so was he. couple points, when i was younger i thought maybe he wasn't dead, but had just ran away and would come back someday. in that scenario i was prepared never to speak to him again b/c of all the pain he would have caused my parents and family. i also had this fantasy that maybe his girlfriend would be pregnant (little did i know about depression reducing sex drive at the time) and would decide to keep the kid and i would have a niece or nephew even if i didn't find out for several years. i have long since given up on this idea.
ok so jump back to dream, after the random part of being on vacation with my dad and driving around reading crazy maps trying to find a hotel and my mom being sick so not having had come, but maybe meeting us the next day it shifts to my parents house where my brother is, back magically from supposedly being dead, he just reappears in the house and my parents have welcomed him in and not so much explained to me what's going on. i have a ton of questions for him, and he is falling into another depression and i am the one who sees it (i notice him running away to puke and then just putting his head in the shower) there are some crying scenes were i get super mad at him for not letting me in, since i can get the whole depression thing, and he's worried about losing all his friends from high school (he's 33 or so in the dream) and he's lost their respect and fucked it up with katie (his girlfriend from when he died, who he had kinda been cheating on. to tell the truth i don't really know all the details). there are some odd scenes taking place in the bathroom where i figure out that he has been in london-as he developed a british accent and then him locking himself in the room and me being pissed at him and also at my parents for not seeing that he's sick again. the scene then switches to the parking lot of rodef shalom where he tells me that he went to school in africa during the year i moved to new york, and had two kids. i go ballistic that i was in ny (ok somehow ny and africa weren't on different continents in the dream or that didn't matter) and that at that point in my life i was old enough and mature enough to deal with it and why didn't i know. then he tells me about the kids and i get more pissed that no one told me and that he wasn't going to introduce them to mom and dad even though he had brought them to pgh and that's where he went during the day. his friend who was taking care of his kids came and he got in the truck and left and i then starting roaming around oakland, kinda going home but walking in the wrong direction, kinda looking for the dentist, being totally naked and holding a bag. after several blocks i became aware of my nakedness and felt embarrassed-no one else was naked-and found my sarong to put on. and then i run into some people from high school, one of which i had been asked about at the conference for work i was at a couple weeks ago (this only happened in the dream, not real life). oh and in the dream when i was wondering around i was thinking about how i really needed to talk to my shrink about this b/c i couldn't handle it, but in the dream i had 2 shrinks, 1 for love matters and one for work type stuff and i didn't know which to go to-it made me confused, b/c the awake part of me started to creep in and say but wait you only have one shrink.
then the alarm went off and i was too weirded out to get out of bed and went back to sleep for an hour and a half. oops. now i really need to get my ass out of here and to work.

there was a time several months ago where i was having lots of dreams about steve. they made me kind of uncomfortable, but none were like this, and not involved such expression of emotions. i talked about them with my shrink, they went away. if its anxiety, i liked the ones where i was just dating norm again as a manifestation of anxiety in my waking life much better.

inagural bbq; south brooklyn bred

this might be a tough summer. the paco girl's burgers just smelled so much better and looked much more appetizing than my garden burger. the veggie kabobs were awesome, as was the pre dusk, evening light shining over south brooklyn. but i might just have to bring me some organic free range meat to grill up, or maybe i can make my own hamburger out of the veggie lean stuff. i guess that's the next step.

mr laisez faire aka clinton hill boy needs to learn to walk at a decent speed. esp needs to realize that even if your late, that is more of a reason to hall ass. and seriously i don't walk that fast. also he'd never heard of the 2nd ave deli. and he wants to call himself a nyer, and a jew no less. i think not. pick up your pace and get with the program.

party went well. not a rousing success, but not a failure at all. too much alcohol. punch was quite good. everyone looked quite lovely and seemed to get along. perhaps another one later in the summer. i saw the longest toenails i've ever seen last night. was totally crazy, his shoes must be big b/c i don't think i have enough spare room in my shoes for toenails that long.

my roommate just announced that she is moving for july 1. ahh. not so much, but now makes me think i should move, but where? with whom? i still want to be in the slope, i want to live with people who want to share stuff, i want to live with people i can have shabbat dinners with, and i want to be able to afford it, and have a decent sized room, and preferably not be on 4th ave. i will be in this place through the summer, and its up to her to find a subletter, so its not the end of the world. also she threatened to move out last year and they gave her a raise at work and she stayed. the same could hold true again. although she probably won't get another $10,000 raise.

i emailed chad that i am dating clinton hill boy, b/c i promised him i would tell him when i was dating someone. but am i dating clinton hill boy? did that just move our relationship forward? was online the way to go when he'll be back in the country in a week, and in a week who knows what will be up with this guy.

schwartz moved to greenpoint without telling me. this pissed me off, for several reasons. 1) how can i mother him when he's more than 3 blocks away and more importantly 2) how can i late night make him come over and cuddle if he isn't a 4 minute walk away?!? unacceptable.

shout out to my other roomie for answering the door bell that i didn't hear last night, after the buzzing woke her up. chb would have had an even more unfortunate night after losing his cell phone and then coming back to park slope for no reason.

more thoughts, but need to sleep as the grind starts again soon enough.

new fav song- weezer: american girls

why are all american girls so rough?
why do all american girls act so tough?
why are all american girls so rough?

love shout outs for my brief speaking with maeria (tilda) and the wasp (katherine anne you know thats you babe)

i have been feeling good lately, like who i want to be feeling. getting some shit done, snogging some boys, realizing change is going to happen and ok, well i'm not actually dealing with it.

having big dilemma's about how much alcholol is needed for tomorrow and how much money i am willing to let slip through my fingers.

one loves to be out of control, one hates to be out of control, can they get along?

so i went to clinton hill for the first time yesterday. shocking that i had never been there before. and i want to go back to do some more exploring since i really just saw a few blocks. its definitely brooklyn. but its not like the brooklyn i know either. i also really want to see the sculpture garden that is pratt's campus-or so they say. the neighborhood has definitely, how they say, tipped. i went into the met foods, which was twice the size of the greenpoint met foods, and while the produce sucked (this is NYC and a low income neighborhood after-all) there was a fucking special refrigerator case for sabra hummus. i know that usually my benchmark is garden of eatin chips and green mountain gringo salsa, but the met foods was over the top! i think the smithwicks ale was also a big sign of tippage, but i think there are those out there who might disagree with me, and say lots of places carry it now that its been fully introduced into the nyc market. it was my fav in eire, but not always so easy to find. in any case gentrification has came and swept through clinton hill, the streets seemed mixed esp with the stores but only white people, and a fair amount of them got off the train at the clinton-washington stop. i walked back on fulton street heading for the williamsburg savings bank and saw a totally cute clothes store-surprise, surprise i know. i need to map out some more of brooklyn to see how all these places connect. ok at 3:50 i think i should start some work for the day.

i think this is hilarious, maybe you will too. either that or offensive

snid bit from an email with one of my brides:

dude, if you bring me a vibrator to the shower and i open it in front
of her mother in law to be and my mother not to mention everyone else, i would totally
love that... the equivalent of getting kippot imprinted with: "Penis
and Vagina, Together Forever" or "Because God and Government like the
Straights"

the morning shout outs

1. to tilda for getting the hell away from W being her boss and the big move to the new job in seattle. very sad that she will be a plane instead of a bus ride away and damn jealous of peru, but rock on.
2. slip and slide buddy for getting at least half at next year funded rock on my history of medicine superstar!
3. me for my teacher pulling me aside at the end of class and telling me that he wished i was going into the classroom, that i was thoughtful and that i got it. made me smile and be proud. (and a little bad that i turned in such a shitty portfolio)
3a. me for not breaking the pinky promise, but really it was made null and void. which is awesome. i love txt messages.

pinky swear

i made my first pinky swear ever last night. and it was a double one, b/c i did it with both jen and mollie. i really don't want to break it, b/c they are right in the long run that its better for me and my feelings. but its just so hard in the short term. but i also don't want to dissapoint them. hopefully it'll soon be a non-issue

no more wine

why did passover give me such a license to drink so much wine? yesterday evening, instead of doing my homework which i am now trying to get done, i went for a pitcher of sangria with the 12th st ladies. ok i'm not going to complain about sitting outside in the evening with friends and a drink, but when we later waited for our table at al di la by grabbing a beer (again outside) at the gate, i had to stick to water. but the yumminess of the meal made all the waiting and putting off of work worth it. ironically the only complaint i had was that i wish i had had a glass of wine with my gnocchi. next time.

just read a headline 'the first car bomb of the day in bagdad' why can't we live in a world where these random and deadly terrorist acts are not just assumed to happen?!?

glorious day!

woke up hungover after a good night out. got to brunch at hill diner with the paco ladies, walked home in the beautiful sun, discovering a small nursery along the way and finding the april issue of believer which i had not gotten yet-even thought its now may. i've said it before and i will say it again. i love brooklyn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! b/c i walked back and brunch is not fully digested i'm going to head to the gym to lift and then hopefully get my ass to the park.
ps who closed my blinds? its weird.

did i mention i am now OBSESSED with text messaging. it was definitely the theme of the evening,

why am i awake?

at first glance of my phone i really thought it said noon, which would be a very acceptable time considering that i went to bed around 4:15, it turns out though that its 10:30. less acceptable, esp b/c i want to call mickey but we have a not before 11 policy and though she did leave the bar before me (running away like a preteen girl while giggling) it wasn't more than 10 minutes and she's probably still sound asleep.
this would be a great morning for brunch, but alas its still passover.
+/- for last night
+ i found out that ethiopian is kosher for passover, ingra is made with teff, its a grain but like quinoa its not on the list. fun fact the grain is only grown in: ethiopia, erteria (fucked up spelling) and on one farm in iowa by the carlson family
+ chichi paid for all my drinks (wine) last night. thanks chichi i got you back
+ i think that my flirting game is back, err not i think its back
- getting a nosebleed at the bar
+ went to a bar in brooklyn with bochee ball
- didn't play any, still don't quite get the rules
\ (this is my neutral symbol) ran into teen tour reunion hook up guy
+ found out that my fan is somehow working again
-slept with fan on all night
----(emphasis on how stupid this was) knowingly got into a car where the driver was drunk, i was not going to, but then getting a ride home at 3:30 is nice, but also no excuse for driving drunk. and i was the kind of drunk where i was fully aware of the stupidity of my actions but choose to do it anyway. luckily i'm safe, and unfortunately will probably do it again
to go back to sleep? to try to find brunch? i have a lot of homework and miss my botson girls who are brunching on the tofu scrambles and make me wish i was there with tea in an orange mug and looking strangely at the band on stage.
l8r