so the other day there was a staff lunch and the school provided it. my boss, the principal, came around and asked people what choice of three sandwhiches they wanted: turkey, tuna salad, or salami. i asked if there was a veggie option and she double taked a bit-clearly thinking that the tuna was a veggie and then said oh ok, how about a knish, and we have another vegan on staff. umm 1) when the kids are there there is a strict no meat policy in the school, 2) tuna is not veggie, and i eat cheese that doesn't make me vegan!

back in my crazy life/i did something io swore i would never do and the karmic powers reacted

i flipped out today when i realized how many responsibilities i have from day one at this teaching gig. the flip out moment happened when i realized that i had to make a bullten board-today just covering it with paper and border. i've done this before, but always to help my mom out, not b/c my boss said i had to. fuck at 28 i'm becoming an adult.
that fact that the two people i share a room with are taller than me doesn't help my confidence in my being a full faculty member. of course the fact that i get paid as a consultant and will have to start paying estimated taxes doesn't help with that instead of getting a W2. i don't do so good with that saving thing.

so i went on a date with an isreali last night. (whomever i was talking with about getting my hair cut b/c who knows i could meet a guy at the funeral wasn't so off-didn't meet him at the funeral, barbq sat night) an isreali academic at that, i'm not sure if that makes it better or worse. but i definitely never thought i would do that. it was fun. he will be in nyc this weekend i'm pretty sure we are hanging out, but he's moving back to israel on Tuesday so there is of course no long term, or even any term possibilities. and of course when it rains it pours and the tax lawyer called out of the blue. WTF

i don't remember if a blogged about the funeral. jews don't do open caskets, and i've never actually seen a dead body as we opted out of the viewing, and i opted out for my brother and grandfather. walking from the limo to the grave it was really weird to think that my tiny (literally she shrunk a lot over the years and never weighed more than 105) grandmother was in that huge fancy/ugly wooden box. as sad as it was that a funeral had to bring all these people together, it was nice to see some people that i hadn't seen in a decade. it was sad how many more people were there for my father than for my uncle, and none of his kids or his partner's kids showed up. i learned that my grandmother was 3 years older than my grandfather and that they had a bloomberg lease style ketubah, english one side hebrew the other. the full able to be misogynistically interpreted hebrew and a not so liberal but prettier english translation. so of course i took issue with the language, but i was really into the simplicity. the document is a pre-nup and thats what it looked like, a contract not a work of art. i think that so many ketubahs are so ugly and so big and so weird to have hanging-mainly b;c i think they are so huge and ugly looking. i liked this simple document kept in their safe deposit box.

correction

its at ralph sugar (there are 5 tomorrow) and a graveside service, and donations should go to contact pgh http://www.contactpgh.org/ a suicice hotline in pgh.

she passed away this morning

she led a long and mostly good life.

i'm going home tomorrow. the funeral is early sunday i assume at burton hirsh. i don't know where shiva is or for how long, i assume my parents house, and i don't know where donations should be sent but i say an Alzheimer's foundation-my grandfather had it and it kinda runs in my dad's fam.

my grandmother is dying

my dad's mom. he got the call that she took 'a turn for the worse' this morning and she probably won't make a week, probably she'll pass away this weekend. pneumonia, but also old age and weakness and sickness. the last thing she wanted was to be 100, and the most thing she wanted was for me to have a boyfriend so that would lead to great grand children. i'm not going home til the funeral, its unclear to me if she's conscious or not but my dad says she doesn't recognize anyone. he says that she seems comfortable at least.

i wonder where shiva will be. i wonder if my cousins will come in. they did a decade ago for my grandfather's funeral, but i don 't think they talk to my uncle at all now even think about grandmas existence. i wonder once all her affairs are in order if my father and uncle will speak again. probably, but i don't know that they will see each other. it will be weird to see my uncle. i guess shiva will be at my parents house. which just brings up lots of memories of shiva for my brother.

part of her died a decade ago when my grandfather died. but she was still a spirited, stubborn woman who went on trips and to plays and made my dad lunch everyday. the woman is 98 (maybe older some records are confusing) and led a full life. until a year ago she was in pretty decent health. but the last year she has been stuck in a wheelchair in a nursing home, it was shocking to see the difference and how much more frail she had become every time i went home. for the last week or so i've sort of wondered every time my parents called if it would be this call. but i wonder how prepared my dad is. when my grandfather died, it was a relief to end his suffering and had been a much longer time coming. at 66 i don't think you can be considered an orphan, but its still got to be hard to deal with the death of a parent. as she has always said: getting old is for the birds.

i feel like i should run out and tell everyone. but everyone has shit in their lives and old people die. its a part of life. she was awesome, but we weren't so close. and everyone loses grandparents and everyone has stuff going on. funny that i had my last shrink appt today, as she would be someone i wouldn't mind burdening to talk about it. if you can, in your thoughts please hope that she is comfortable in her passing and that her name may be for a blessing.

shopping like i have a paycheck

all i can say is its a good thing there was no anthropolgie near me or it would have been a super bad scene for my credit card.

went to coney island last night with a hyper-guidoish kinda guy (i so don't think that's how you spell guido, but oh well) but you have to give props to someone who mentions the edward hopper exhibit at the whitney within the first 5 minutes of meeting me. i do want to see that show. went on a haunted house ride-stupid and i won a little frog-charlie at a water shoot out. sat on top of a life guard chair at night for the first time. meh, but being by the water at night was great and the view of the wonderwheel from below it-apparently you can walk underneath at some point-was awesome, its architecture looks so friggin cool.

happy 41st mom and dad

i missed it oops. for the past few weeks i've been thinking i need to be on top of that and then totally forgot today and my mom mentioned it in passing. oops.
(happy belated b'day to nyuwritergirl)

went to boston to see hoya and springy perform with b for brontosaurus. they were great and the show was totally worth the trip. also worth the trip was that hoya asked me to officiate and their wedding next summer. how friggin cool! b'c they've done the city hall thing i don't get to go do the online ordination thing, but i'm still totally psyched and honored.

went to a fairly crappy fringe show tonight. i've seen worse, but at least i've seen a show...saw a cool dance performance on wall street today all about women's power. and then larefugee and i went adventuring in williamsburg. we didn't end up anywhere we planned but did get to sit by the water which was always fun and then a was dress code violating kept from getting an apple strudel (i was in a tank top in satmar williamsburg) that didn't stop me from going in and making everyone in the wine store uncomfortable, but i wanted to see how many kosher wines there are out there. answer a lot. we'll see about the one i bought and i found a bunch of shoemakers. i have a pair i need stretched. williamsburg here i come.

have i mentioned that i'm pretty sure squatters have taken over the building next door. squatters are cool and have fixed up a bunch of buildings in new york, and next door could totally use it, but i find some of them a bit creepy.

and most importantly for me in the short term, do you want to be on my skee ball team? seriously people. i so want in. 3 people needed. east village bars and skee ball who could want more?

happy birthday norm

(i have really uneven tan lines and got rather burnt. i need to work on evening this out before the wedding over labor day and have precious few days with which to do this.)
going to a party at norm's is both great and frustrating. you walk in and know half the crowd, in some ways it makes you think how many people there are out there, and somehow he seems to know them all, but then you know the other half and get reminded how small the neighborhood is, there's my old roommate, there's the girl i hate, there's they guy i have nothing to say to and don't know why everyone loves, there's the guy i've tried to give my number to multiple times all unsuccessful, there's the guy that's always fun to talk to but i never become friends with, there are my friends, there are the people that i've met at some holiday celebration here. i envy some people's abilities to chat with people they don't like or have awkward pasts with. i have none of that-and usually don't have patience for it, but i think it would make me seem less aloof if i did.

turns out i know at least two of the mr. jew.s.a contestants norm and this other avodah kid. i'm still bitter i didn't make it, esp if norm did.

guess i will wake up in the morning and then just jump on a bus, that could still be 2pm, but boston here i come for 24 hours.

finally!

chill and i hit coney island today. i got burned. stupid me, but we went to the SIDESHOW! a couple of the acts were great one or two were lame. i can't believe how long it took me to get there and the guy who swung a bowling ball from his ears (earring hole) and the guy who stuck a spoon up his nose are still creeping me out. of course i want to work there!

i've said it before

BUT I have zero patience for people who don't get it. post a CL ad for an open house for the room tonight with the time and my address-you don't need to make appointments people you have all the info you need. hopefully this will all be settled tonight i and can go about trying to get a life...

i am not in a relationship with my roommate, she's so not my type

apparently having queer friendly as a roommate requirement makes you in a relationship with your roommate. we aren't. my type for women isn't as set as my type for men, but she's not my type.

a couple decent people came by tonight. we'll see. i need to remember when guys come over to look at the room the requirements for roommate and boyfriend are not the same. one 25 year old who was a rhodes scholar at 20 came by, she was my fav until i googled her and got intimidated by her credentials, she also has a kick ass job at OSI.

I got a rejected letter today from a job that called me last week to tell me i didn't get the job, they really must not want me. Who calls someone to say they didn't get the position-esp when we had to play phone tag over it. an email would have sufficed, thanks.

i used to do shit and be cool

but seriously i have spent the afternoon waiting for it to be 5pm so song will open and i can order thai food. dude when did i get so lame?

the way to make you feel tech savvy

i usually feel that i can barely hold my head above water in the current tech age. i don't im, i know nothing about how to use layers in photoshop, skype is completely lost on me. but after spending an hour and a half teaching my mom to work her cell phone, that i never saw before that moment, setting her up with a gmail account and trying to get her to be able to figure out her digital camera i feel just fine....

many appts set up for people to see the apt. let's see if they show. i want my nights back and am tired of showing the place...

help needed

(why am i never packed before a trip when its already after my bedtime)
ok know how pissed i was that i didn't make miss subways, help me make miss jew.s.a
what should my talent be? here are the submission guidelines. i'm already past the submission date and i have a nasty feeling leoplold is probably a contestant but.... i so want in.

To become a candidate in the 1st Annual “Mr. & Ms. JewSA” Pageant, follow these simple steps:

1) Select one snapshot of yourself:
a. If mailing it in, please mark the back of the photograph with your name, address, date of birth, telephone number and an email address to the Pageant office.
b. If emailing it in, please include your name, address, date of birth, telephone number and email address.

2) Give us an example of a talent you would demonstrate if selected to participate in the preliminary round.

3) Write an essay, no more than 500 words about your Jewish identity - what being Jewish means to you and how you express your Judaism. All perspectives and expressions of Judaism are encouraged.

what is up with the amount of sleep i seem to need

went out with a bat eyin hippie last night. he was much cuter and cooler than i was expecting him to be. but as always we'll see. he, however, had somehow never heard of the word kitsch. unfortunately some guy from atlanta that i harassed did know what it means and then came and gave us his political diatribe which was a little annoying to be subjected to.

went to the beer garden in astoria which was pretty awesome and worth the local subway ride home.

i feel like i was violated on the train this morning

which i guess after 6 years in the city was bound to happen at some point but it still made me feel so gross. it wasn't so much that the guy was rubbing his semi-erect penis against my ass as that i was essentially trapped in front of him as he was holding on with both arms on either side of me. it was so uncomfortable and even though the car was jam packed 3/4 of the way to the next stop (it was express) i had to wriggle my way out. i even said excuse me in a polite way to get him to move his arm. gross. funny how if that was someone i knew and were into i would have very different feelings about that experience.

health tip #108 and probably 1-107 drink lots of water and stay hydrated, it makes many things much easier and better including finding a vein. me, not so well hydrated today and the PA had to call in back up to get the needle into a vein. it still hurts ouch.

wish i was at the beach today it was so gorgeous out

one of my favorite things to bitch about is my crappy healthcare or lack thereof. tomorrow i'm being all responsible and shit and doing some preventative medicine which will involve some blood and lab work-that's where the real cost of healthcare and certainly preventative medicine is. i doubt my insurance will pay for it as i have crappy catastrophic. and part of me says eh fuck it i'm sure things are fine. but that's not being an adult, healthy, responsible or practicing what i preach. but who wants to use my b'day money to pay for lab work?

i feel back to square one in the love department. the catholic is slowly blowing me off-dude just suck it up and say you aren't interested i can handle it. humanistic anarchist has dropped back into his tax laywer world and maybe its better that he stays there, although i'm sure i'll jump if he ever pops up again, but i'm not going to contact him.

i just got the newsletter from a non-profit i would love if my friend loyalty didn't have me think nasty things about the ed and if said ed hadn't refused to give me a job...but its a youth focused org that proudly has brooklyn brewery as a sponsor. i'm sure that they donated free beer to the benefit and all but do you really want to be promoting either underage drinking or drinking while sailing? don't get me wrong i generally am for all the philanthropic ventures of the brooklyn brewery and they support wind power and have for a while. but sometimes you gotta laugh when you notice who some bedfellows are.

another reason boys are annoying

i find it kinda amusing that my new roommate thinks i'm a lesbian, i think its because the third roommate is queer and i have underarm hair. i am not the cleanest of people, but a lesbian i am not. i was hoping that a certain guy would have been out tonight and would have come home with me. i now wish so even more, just so he could have walked out in the morning and sent manhattan snob into disequilibrium.

mmm. rooftop bar bqs got to love em. chill in a dress. got to love it even more.
do i bother to write the guys i was writing before back?

pre montane moist forest, wish i was there

holla. i'm back after a long day of travel. got switched to delta due to american sucking and had a much more pleasant travel experience that got me in at the same time. got stopped at customs in atlanta and asked if we had been on a farm (yes) said no, he didn't want to believe that coffee was the only food i had (plus the cliff bars that had also been on my ireland journey) and asked if we had been horseback riding. my companion who had been was too tired to remember to lie and they guy was going to take her shoes, but she really had left them in costa rica..
i know it means no beach, but i'd rather have that weather than this weather.
today i'm finally 28 instead of just telling everyone that i'm 28. woo hoo.
have 2 second interviews for the jobs i interviewed for the day before i left. sweet. surprised that one requires a second interview.
in no particular order here are the blog titles/topics to describe my trip. contact me if you want more details.

herecules beetles are the coolest things i've ever seen
complimentary colors found on bugs in the reserve
straddled the continental divide
i love hanging out topless by moving water
they dont call this a cloud forest for nothing
i saw monkeys, i saw monkeys (and a bellbird-twice)
brookburg, please shut up in discussions
breakfast rice and beans are better than dinner rice and beans
no more fucking rice and beans
american airlines sucks
why can i survive using only us currency in this country?
i ate meat (see no more rice and beans)
damn, insects have intense sex lives
saw the tarantula that gets eaten by wasp babies that are laid on it
i didn't know snakes were ever in trees
how do snakes have sex?
too many milkshakes
daily schedule: eat, make fin of constructivist learning repeat 4 times a day