Is there such a thing as the great American essayist?

I have no interst in bbg the great American novelist, or whatever our contemporary moniker would be. But I do spend a lot of time composing essays/memoir vingettes in my head. And even thinking about the publications they would be in.
I had a money making idea yesterday that would in fact be a terrible idea on many levels, but I part was most attracted to the idea of being able to write about the experience of trying it out for a particular publication.

Taking a break from therapy, in pursuit of taking a long term pause. We talked about me writing as a way to help in the times. A trad diary doesn.t work for me.  This does, I like the idea of random strangers reading it but feel like it would be harder for me to be open about some things b.c of the possibility of a couple people I knwo reading it.  Don't think slipnslide or grad school friends ever read it anymore., but do those two of you with RSS feeds for it read it?

I used to think I hated new music, in terms of classical and discordant stuff still doesn't work for me, but am starting to see there is a whole world of new music that isn't discordant. Went to a string orchestra concert last night with a couple of new music pieces and I was really into them.  Got to here about how they are scored which is also pretty cool, I wonder if dance choreography is written down in the same way.

I really want to return my half turn, but I realize I.m only half ass working on it. I.m not intentionally lazy when I throw it, and keeping my focus on so many aspects of a trick is tough for me, but definately let my guard down and feel like if I go through the motions it should work. But no I need to work it the whole way. This is true of all tricks at all points and all returns, but half turn is what I am focusing on at the moment. One problem is that almost always the fuck ups or or quite good enoughs are just as fun. That.s actually not true in catching, not getting to work in hands is just frustrating, but doing a bad layout or a failed cutaway half is just as fun (almost) as doing a good one.  And fun is the main reason I do this any way.  That and the strong ass shoulders I.m getting.