i can't think of the proper idiom, but gggenhiem you've got my number

went to the staten island installation of stillspotting a 2 year project by the guggenhiem that i can't totally explain or understand all the parts of, but the boro projects definitely seem to be designed for me. it was a perfect day to walk around staten island, sunny not too hot. the tour started at the ferry termnal, went along the water to a salt heap, and wandered back through a cool neighborhood ending at a grand old theater. the whole time you listen to a story told in various ways of the possible first inventor of the telephone and his wife rumoured to be a mermaid, who made a lot of money and was swindled out of it all in new york. this might not make it sound great, but it was awesome. dinner at sweet wolf's on friday, it kinda sucked. well not sucked, was just disapointing and i don't think we will go back. mr civic is sick. this is sad.

sucess on a standup

went with it, and rented a stand up at the beach in RI yesterday. super calm water, so a great place to try it out. and some wind, not too much but enough to make me work some. was good. didnt use my full hour, oh well but hard to measure time, and didn't know how long the levinerman's wanted to stay at beach. water was super nice. there was a swimming area with life guards, but they didn't seem to care if you swam outside of that area--not what i'm used to. shelly and sandy bottom. grabbed some sand for my new fangled sand collection at school. need to label it. hope to rent one in israel and maybe the rockaways depending on the day. surprised how many people had them, did not know they were this popular. ate like crap this weekend. oh well. stand up board was at least a workout for my arms. ezt can totally do new things, super awesome to see. unfortunately this weekend away didn't take me out of my head, only put me in moreso i think. so that's not a great feeling esp as i think about communication and being in touch, and the same demons that i've had but been able to rationalize its not me, make me think it actually is me. wish i had my headphone so i could watch some scratch tutorials. trying to figure it out so i can do it with my kids this year. stuck on what should be a very simple problem, but cannot figure it out. think videos might help. got super frustrated with it on the train ride up. i hope this week of camp goes well, i could use to be in a good headspace.

better day

woke up at a reasonable time. made rhubarb compote which came out pretty well. not as awesome as i remember last time, but yummy nonetheless. phone meeting about a grant i don't want, but was encouraged to apply for. put in for a small-token really-stipend for myself and was told they aren't doing stipends as part of the grant, which is fine, but also a little against what they said the mission of the grant is. had coffee with a friend and her 3 month old who no longer looks like an alien, but did spit up on me--hadn't showered so it's ok. went to gym for a full workout (light on abs, i need to get back to pilates....) home to shower, get ready and head to train for quick providence trip to see slipnslide buddy and ezt who can totally walk now--can't wait!

bad day

partly my fault partly the fault of mis communication but shitty none the less. well not its shitty before it was just bad. couldn;t get out of bed and wasn't hydrated so felt all over the place and couldn't decide what to do, and so did nothing. certainly no gym, which i could have really used.or to beach which would be outside... finally drag myself out (also very little contact with people/friends, you how i always feel lonely)[so of course i want to post bad day on face book to get sympathy, but i never do when i post shit like that, so oh well] and have only a little time to get to center for book arts which was kinda cool, but i didn't touch any of the books in the gallery. i kinda want to make books, but it seems like you need something important to write in them, or that's how i feel. go and tutor. it's fine. trains not in my favor so am late for next tutoring, for which i was ditching lava class i paid for already. no one answers the door, by this time i have forgotten and about class and also told mr civic i'd be home at 7:30 so we could finally make israel plans. of course i called him at 8 and he said he didn't know when he'd be home. arg so i could have gone to class with no repercussions and been active and arg arg arg also paid $80 for a presciption today. seems like part was new year deductible, but still shit. so annoyed. i already ate 2 big shit things today, but this only makes me want to buy indulgent ice cream. arg. boo hoo. i hate summer, which is so not true, i hate feeling lonely and i hate not having structure to my day, b/c myself imposed structure doesn't work well.

love the crest hardware art show

glad i made it. but franklin the pig is vacationing in the hamptons so i missed him. walked to the tea atlier, but they opened the door and said they aren't a cafe. i'm pissed we walked away without checking it out first. came as close to the giglio as i've ever been. apparently festivities started yesterday but at 5:30 today they looked like they were starting around 7. is too hot and too busy to make it to the lifts, but at least i've seen it now. made it to gym today. go me, even though i was later than i wanted to. good to see great aunt at cousin's engagement party. bad food. lame kosher pizza place. there is good kosher food in this town, but we didn't have it.

do i bring a gift to an engagement party?

esp if i can't write a check...or won't rather... saw not free-free shakespeare al fresco last night. glad i went. much ado about nothing in a semi-roving fashion. good production, a touch long but good and on roosevelt island, always a nice excuse and at $15 a nice price. some of the cast looked super familiar, but i'm not sure if that's b/c i know them or i've seen them in things...also felt like they had a lot of people for that type of production... sitting here sweating. too hot. camp went well. got lots of compliments from parents, the kids were super cute...not too hot. filled all the time. glad i have a couple weeks off until the next one though. got an email from my new ta, wanting to be super eager and helpful. but it was super not proofread, and she and i haven't met yet. a little professionalism people. my civic's brunch smells good. check up tomorrow, which they confirmed via text and phone call. i have a list of things, we;ll see if i take charge of my health enough to get them addresses. $10 i won't even though they aren't big, or difficult to talk about things. coney island for an hour yesterday, way cooler there, but not sunny, but was nice and first time. added to my summer list is go carting there. i've never been go carting.