i forgot

mazel tov to elena and kevin on finally getting engaged

i'm going back to cali cali cali

the circus performer stayed by me last night and treated me to song-yum. it was nice to see him and catch up, but i should have been working. it kinda surprised me that he watched tv before he went to bed, i was like later dude i'm going to commune with my fan. my apt can be a warm place, top floor traps heat!

ok here's my new favorite poetry in motion piece. i think i have the author's name wrong, it was written half a millenuim ago.
by Jelaaluddin Rumi
Out beyond ideas of rightdoing and wrongdoing,
There is a field. i'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass,
Ther world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
Doesn't make any sense

oh and another one bites the dust. congrats to the red head from the 5th st apt. apparently he got engaged.

classic children's books?

favor-let me know what books you loved as a kid--class assignment.
anyone into sarah plain and tall?
thanks.

down with philip roth people, down with him

but apparently i'm alone in my quest. the times polled 200 literati and asked what the best american fiction of the last 25 years was. he is all over the fucking list. beloved won as the top, underworld next. ao scott has a long and boring essay on the list of winners and attributes some of it to cultural significance and not just the craft of the book, this makes me feel worse of how fucking significant he is.

aha told me what the afianced couple is paying for their ireland tix, which makes me feel ok about mine. and burp castle may be my new favorite bar, something about it is fairly cheshireish.

it may just be the long weekend but i don't think i'm going to hear back from n+1. oh well. i will survive and find love sometime, if only i could give up looking for now.

can you tell i haven't driven in a while?

so the day at storm king can only be described as pleasant. the only bad thing, which wasn't horrible, was missing the exit for the saw mill and having to go over the triboro on the way back, and the scenic view being a tad less scenic. storm king was laid out differently than i thought it would be but there were some cool pieces and it was a nice walk. annoying that they wouldn't honor my aam card. drove back on the east side of the hudson so we could stop for some ice cream and eat it along the river. damn do i love afternoon/late afternoon sun and esp over moving water. LOVE IT.
got some sun and tan lines. i need to pick up sunscreen asap (i had some on, just apparently not everywhere)
ok, got to go return the mini van

foot in mouth

i could not say anything right to schwartz's girlfriend last night. it was a bad scene.
as n+1 apparently has found this site, and i don't think taken sooo kindly to being called pessimistic i'm doubtful i'll hear from him again, which is unfortunate as he is cute and seemed like a nice guy. my jdate subscription ran out. oh well. its not like anything was coming out of that anyway and i'm entering into super busy and out of town times... i'm a littl,e nervous about these 14 hour days coming up that require me to be in the bronx at 8:30 2 days in a row and then my early morning departure for the burg on sat. meh who needs sleep right?

um excuse me, do employed single men exist?

b/c i can't find them anywhere. at least this one isn't a writer, or at least i don't think he is. pessimistic that's a good word for him. we'll see. outside at the gate at least, although it was loud as hell.

why do i do this to myself?

i entered into brief email chats today with two guys from my past that drive me crazy and end up making me feel bad. so now i am in a mini-funk.

one b/c i still think its weird he's not in my life after all we've been through, but after all we've been through its clear that we can't get over our past shit to be there in the present with each other. its sad b/c i think i probably won't ever hang out with him again, and there is definately a lot of lost potential there that wasn't used an energy but just went straight to entropy.

the other is a much more recent and much more short-lived thing, and i didn't even like hanging out with him that much. but something about that relationship and him has really got under my skin. i sent him a job posting that i thought was up his alley. its me trying to be nice, but also i think secretly self destructive.

i really do get that other people, well certainly not my partner to be, aren't what will make me happy, that i will be happier with those people, but i've got to get to that place on my own. i think that's part of the reason that i haven't been into any of my dates lately. (although i can't help but garner hope for tonight, i mean the guy reads N+1, how many of you out there have heard of N+1?! well one things for sure we have similar tastes in books.) i'm just not in a place to meet someone, i need to be happy with me and in a good me place first.

this incomplete is looming large over my head and i am doing very little about it. i'm really trying not to crawl under a rock. which is kinda what i feel like doing dealing with ireland, dealing with this incomplete, making fucking plans to go to storm king this weekend is almost going to send me under a rock.

are we are that the decembrists wrote a song about myla goldberg. i've even heard the song before today but never put it together it was about her. she really looks like my middle school best friend. but is of course older and more established, but before i list all her attributes i am not going to judge my inside against her published book turned into a movie outsides. i don't even want to be a writer. i want to be an installation artist and hold wildly successful social justice happenings. i'm serious.

craigslist twins

so apparently the last two times that nyuwritergirl has posted a personal ad on craigslist and then searched for a random word to make sure that it posted, my ad has come up just below her. a couple months ago it was milk, yesterday it was coney.
story. has put his one hundred books project on hold but i kinda want to get in on some reading project action. that would of course require me to read, and as i am basically done with the chapter books for school i should be reading.
went to 12st bar last night. i so heart that place. and i so need to motivate on getting some work done today.
but in good news i think my apt sit is at least temporarily figured out. i only say temporarily b/c thats only how long it ever seems to stay stable around here.
saw friends with money. i cried. i think that speaks more to my state of mind than anything about the movie. i do love me that frances mcdormand though.

hell i wanna marry my best friend who has sex with me

(i just haven't found that yet)
mazel tov to hoya and springy! cambridge city hall is a lovely place to get hitched!

dsmn the boooty don't stop girl

went to mo pitkins for a 826nyc benefit show of the found magazine tour. it was ok. davy looks so much like someone else ti drives me insane. i think its the non-levee's guy from guster with the huge nose, but i feel like maybe its also someone else. the crowd was very predictably basically all white. as much as i am anti-eggers and his world (even though i love the believer and the stores and support small press) and ego i do think the 826 chains are pretty cool and i'm happy to support them.
the songs were pretty funny and sung with a surprisingly earnest voice. the found reading itself. i feel like its got potential but it ain't all that, i'll give davy the benefit of the doubt and say since detroit lost it was an off night for him; i would be sad if i lost to cleveland.

the undersides of my feet are super ticklish and i keep setting them off accidentally.

my travel arrangements are set for my 24 hour trip to boston for the hoya-springy town hall nuptials.

i'm blaming leopold for my weight gain. his eating of crap certainly didn't help even if all the brownies aren't his fault.

apparently rick moody looks nothing like philip seymour hoffman

not that i really thought he did, but more like psh than what he actually looks like. went to a benefit for litpac a PAC of progressive writers funding challenger candidates in this year's congressional election. i always like going to readings even if i'm not so into the work. rick moody sang a very (fuck what is the british guy who did the mermaid parade albums of wood guthrie's music, oh well) that guyesque song that he wrote. the guy that nyuwritergilr says is on this american life was a fabulous reader, i don't know that i would love his writing. and in other cases a not fabulous reader i still like her (don't remember her name) writing. but while i liked her writing for a short story i don't think i could have tolerated it for a full novel. but who am i to say, i can't even find time, energy to get through most of the believer. and the brooklyn rail has an interview with mel bochner who my dad went to high school with and i think was chummy as my parents send me to see all his shows. hist stuff is ok.
i don't know how i feel about their (litpac) campaign to get writers to call readers as a reminder to vote (people request the call). i'm going to vote anyway, but if dom delillo called me to vote that would be fucking awesome and i'd sign up-but you don't need to waste the energy on me.
i just emailed stephen elliot the most random email ever. i don't expect a response. i'll deal.


choices for boston travel-10pm bus on thursday, would slip and slide really pick me up at south station at 2am? 6am bus, which won't guarantee to get me there in time for the ceremony at 11, and would suck to be up that early and not guaranteed to make it.

got the invite for the ireland wedding. the one wedding i'm invited to with guest! who wants to go to ireland?

finding roommates=annoying.

david smith: like his later stuff better

went to the guggenhiem today to catch the david smith show which is closing. i'm more familar with his later and bigger stuff. and while i liked a lot of his peices, i wasn't actually very moved by any of them. you can definately see the influence of picasso in his work, and he definately a skilled and creative sculptor and i liked it when he painted his stuff, his use/creation of color was cool. but overall i wasn't impressed.

went to xunta and then vienero's last night. xunta was good, a ton of veggie options, but not the best tapas i've had. i've never actually stepped inside veinero's before, i can check that new york thing off my list. went with the aha guy, who reminded me of him even more last night, the scornful way he looked at my underarm hair, his being on a young professional committee for a fundraiser for an org that raises money and awareness for some medical condition. but there was no spark. i'm not sure i'm in a place where there is going to be spark with anyone right now. he's off to his sister's graduation from wash u i told him to get in touch when he gets back. have another one of these on tuesday.

might have to make a quick trip to boston at the end of the week. not sure how i'm going to fit it in.

really don't want to deal with this roommate thing-everyone wants august.
narg.

how much do i wish i could afford to live on my own right now

both my roommates are leaving the month is half over (i know its still a lot of time) but its also stressful. fuck me for not making them sign sub lease agreements. and the two people who came over today walked out immediately. one was anti the no meat policy the other wants the room for august.
arg.

not superjew

so the other day i'm working at ESP, hair in pigtails, and this kid who's my age and his mom come in. they don't take a tour but i'm giving them some info anyway. the kid asks some questions, and then without knowing where i live or anything asks if i was in habonim-not bc i look familar, but i just seem like someone who would have been in it. i laughed.

just got an email from mickey asking why i never went to overnight camp. it came up as this washu kgid who i've met a few times, but don't know was in town somehow i came up in conversation, later camp came up in conversation, and mickey mentioned i never went. this shocked the guy.

am i so stereotypical, or is it just in the past i would hook up with many inappropriate things that came my way or i made come my way?

new easy click donation

tampons for women's shelter from seventh generation. its not the keeper, but they are needed.
donate now

i bit the bullet and followed the crowd (and feel dirty for playing the networking game)

and went to devachan. so far so good, although i miss being able to put it into pig tails and who knows how long i will sty with the proper product regimine. i so can't be bothered. and i definatley will not be dealing with paper towels to dry my hair. we'll see if i can be bothered to flip my head upside down all the time.

last night's date reminded me a lot of aha, more in stature and they have the same head shape and gait. again i gave him my contact and agreed to go out if he called. we'll see if he does.

so i applied for a per diem job, and didn't hear from them. i had my classmate mention to the person hiring that i was applying and still didn't hear. (i also sent a follow-up email). i'm not saying i deserve the job, but i do definately merit an interview. i mentioned to my advisor that i had applied and hadn't heard and she said she would email the person. i saw my advisor today who said she emailed g. this morning. i come back from the floor and have an email to schedule an interview. on one hand i'm grateful and its still up to me to get the job. on the other hand i hate that that is how the system works.

pumped to go to this material for the arts workshop tonight. yeah crafts.

different intelligences

can i really go on a second date with you if you have never been to a bar before on a monday night and claim to be incredulous (clearly not using that word) that bars are open and people go to them on mondays. but on the other hand, other than your smoothness there wasn't anything wrong with you and i am trying to widen my dating circle. i think i want to go back to widening with the like of humanistic anarchist, b/c well he used those two words together in a sentence and that makes me think we are more likely to be of the same people, even if his people are clearly wasp or Episcopalian, which i think would still be wasp. i mean maybe i can forgive you for the no bar thing, but maybe not for asking me what my wardrobe is like and if i have dressier clothes, and kinda pushing it when i say no. oh well maybe its just my attitude. and i of course gave him my contact info-oh brookburg

from blog snooping it appears that someone that used to loom large in my romantic life, and otherwise, is going to be moving in with his girlfriend and getting a dog with her in the coming months. best of luck to them. i have problems seeing him commit to an apt (not necessarily to a person, although there was no way in hell he was capable of that when we were 'together' and he was possibly the biggest slut i knew) but it seems another one bites the dust.

past my bedtime. lalia tov yinz

i should be writing a paper

but instead, i'm waiting for a jdate to call me to go for a drink. seriously, i could crawl into bed. i'm not sure why i'm doing this.

i got my results back. i very unsurprisingly passed my teacher training tests, even after getting there after the test started.
i have my last regularly scheduled meeting with my advisor tomorrow. i am pumped! NOT FOR THe meeting, but for it to be over. last conference group this thursday. hallelujah! cannot wait for that to be done.

going to a materials for the arts workshop on wed-clearly i'm pumped. crafts are involved!

must write reflection. must annotate books. must-its almost as bad a word as should.

bad habit looms large again

so i'm watching the evil tv and my paper is not done, and my class is not prepped for and i will soon go to sleep, if i can-and deal with being fucked tomorrow.

this david blane thing is wack. i have serious problems with abc sponsoring and having camera on him doing a stupid stunt live during which he could very stupidly be committing suicide if he can't get himself out which is the whole point of doing it on live tv. i don't actually have a problem with him doing the stupid stunt, fine, its the media coverage and sponsorship and live special i have issue with.

i am also contending with a majorly annoying and drawing my attention minor health issue=i'm fine. but have a very itchy and annoying its presence part of my body that i don't normally think about. no not down there. and while i know the cause, i don't know the proximal cause and think there is nothing i can do but let it run its course, but its driving me kinda crazy in the meantime.

and the webcomic i read religiously is going up late tonight-lame

too wired to sleep

got home from class, and the library-there til it closed. my life this spring has been that library. and frantically went to work on some homework i've not been putting off but not getting done. got a good start at a draft on it out. but now i could still work except i know what time it is and so know i should go to bed, but it takes me a while to fall asleep if i haven't had some down time and my super fast perusal of the blogs i read hasn't done the trick. if it weren't an hour past my bedtime and i didn't have a 15 hour day tomorrow followed by the zoo on friday it wouldn't matter...

does this happen to you?
good luck slip and slide buddy take on canada and rock their history asses

what makes her think its ok to pay the rent in cash

annoying. but luckily i was able to go to the bank and deposit it today. seriously, get checks like everyone else. you are a grown up.

and what's with the british dude in the aquarium at lincoln center, and why do i care if he holds his breath for 9 minutes. of course i did go to see him, so i must care somewhat. i'm confused who pays him for these stunts and why.

got excited over soft drinks not being sold in schools anymore deal, but then read the fine print and there is not so much to be excited over.

apllied for another job last night. we shall see. hopefully will send in another cover letter today. i'm seriously starting to stress over finances, but it will all work out in the end.

ok off to talk about some rocks.